i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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