she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
