Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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