Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
