So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
