does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
They are going to name an STD after you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
