he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
