needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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