he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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