I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
