i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
