I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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