I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
