did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
