I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
