i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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