Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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