Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
