i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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