Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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