how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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