the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
