dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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