he thought i was a dude.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
