he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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