I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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