i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
