she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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