I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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