Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
