She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
