i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
3pm strippers are depressing
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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