He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Someone shattered a urinal.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
