1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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