Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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