Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
