office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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