If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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