How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
