Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
