He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
