Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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