im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
