She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
