btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
