It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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