people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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