oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
