You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
