Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
