so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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