your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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