I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
