are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
