Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
