Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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