If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
