we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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