she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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